Why Write About Grief?

Watching my mum suffer from cancer made me realise how life is too short to be taken for granted.

Her departure urges me to bring out the best in the people and things around me - because to live is a gift not everyone gets. This gap year, I promised myself to do the things that scare me the most, and I have finally brought myself to share my story with you.

It’s not something that many people know about, and it scares me to share this with you.

Maybe because I fear that people’s impression of me will change, and I never liked the pity my story invited. But I see it as something to share because I wished there was someone out there when I was 12 to share these tools with me to help myself cope with the pain.

These websites, articles and perspectives are a compilation of tools that I picked up throughout the past eight years that have helped me in my journey. I have tons of questions about the meaning of life and self-worth. Perhaps these are questions that may have crossed your mind too. Whoever you are reading this, I hope that they will come in useful in some way.

Loss is real. It is a matter of time before we face loss in our lives. Loss does not have to come in the form of the death of a loved one. It could be a loss of who we thought we were. A loss of a lifestyle, a precious relationship we once had, a friend we once loved, an expectation or hope we once held. Sometimes I hear of a friend’s friend that has gone through something similar. I want to reach out, but I’m not supposed to know of it. This is my way of reaching out, to share with you things that have helped me to help myself.

There is nothing shameful about loss, so I hope to transform the muted narrative around it. It is okay to cry and feel sad. I recently learned that it is a blessing to share our raw realities with each other. After all, it is these moments of vulnerability, when we let down our guards and take off our masks, that allow us to grow closer to the people we love. No need to hide how we really feel, just raw and real. Regardless of how messy or heavy or ugly, we may judge them to be, they are real - and that’s the beauty in reality.

I came across this quote:

“Grief is all the love you hoped to give but never could”

To you, who may be in suffering, or to you who may be missing someone at this very moment, you are not alone. Love is abundant, and there is really more than enough to go around. I’m sending all the love to you today, and I hope you will share this with whoever might appreciate it.

With you,

En